


It's Getting Stronger

by rockstarpeach



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Dean is ridiculous, M/M, Magical Healing Cock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-06
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-06 09:28:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3129536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockstarpeach/pseuds/rockstarpeach
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean comes down with a case of 'magical healing cock'.  Literally.  At first, Sam doesn't believe him but he's happy to find out that he's wrong.  Pure crack :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Getting Stronger

“Magical healing cock.”

Sam doesn't answer.

He doesn't, because that wasn't a question and yet _fuck him all to hell_ , he really is curious. Yes, Sam knows better, but 'magical healing cock' is a hell of a conversation starter.

A book slams down on the table in front of him and Sam doesn't flinch, but he does move his research on reversion of demon souls over a little, to make room. Inside, he's chomping at the bit.

“Don't tell me you've never heard of that shit,” Dean says, eyes stern as he pushes the book a little closer.

Oh, Sam's heard of it, alright. They hate Chuck Shurley's damn books with everything they have, but they're not oblivious. And Sam's read a little more (okay, a lot more) 'fanfiction' than Dean has. _Magical healing cock_ is just about one of the most popular – and fucking _ridiculous_ plot tropes out there.

So, Sam sighs and pushes back in his chair, looking up at Dean.

“What about it?”

Dean's smile is bright, wide and proud and unlike anything Sam's seen since he made Sam that cheeseburger. Fuck, he loves that smile.

“It's true.”

Sam hates to break Dean's heart, but... “It's really not.”

“No, it's true,” Dean says, slapping his hand down on the book in front of Sam before he stands up straighter, puffing out his chest. “It's true, and I have it.”

"Pretty sure you don't." And Sam would know. He's been up close and personal with Dean's cock plenty and... okay, come to think of it it _does_ tend to make him feel better. Maybe Dean's onto something. Then again...

“Dean, that's... It's a crazy fantasy. I mean, it would come in handy, I guess....” And it kind of would. Damn, if Dean could just fuck away everything that was wrong with Sam? He'd be on that in a heartbeat. And if Sam could... Okay, Sam would need a damn army to fuck away everything that was wrong with Dean, but Dean claims to be the one in current possession of the magic dong. And one magic dong should do Sam just fine.

“...And I could just... rub it all over that bruise on your ribs so you'd... Sam?” Dean pauses, frowns and then scowls. “Sam!”

Sam jerks and blinks, closes the book Dean put down.

“What?”

“There was a curse,” Dean says, very slowly, like Sam is a little dim. “I did it. My spunk now heals the sick.”

“It... what?!” Sam knows those words, they just don't make sense.

“Pretty lady gets cut up by the monsters. I jizz all over pretty lady. Pretty lady gets better!” Dean's equal parts proud of himself and annoyed that Sam's clearly _not_ proud of him. “Come on, let's go try it out!”

Sam scoffs, turns his nose up and reaches for his own discarded research.

“I'm not going anywhere, just so you can scam on some poor, unsuspecting woman by promising to 'heal' her.”

Dean's smile turns sly and he leans a little closer.

“Oh, they're never unsuspecting, Sammy. That's the trick.”

“Forget it. You're crazy, Dean. You don't have a magical healing cock. There's no such thing.”

Sam's being pretty reasonable, he thinks but Dean's jaw gets tight and his eyes get narrow.

“Yeah, I do. Damnit, Sammy, I'm not an idiot!”

“Says the guy who cast a spell on his penis. Sorry, the guy who _thinks_ he cast a spell on his penis.”

Sam's smirk doesn't last longer that half a second it takes for Dean's fist to connect with his mouth.

“The fuck, asshole?” Sam mumbles, holding his hands up to his face to catch the blood dripping down from his nose.

He lowers his head to look over at Dean and his jaw drops, so do his hands and he just... kind of stares, because _what the fuck_? Dean's... Dean's standing in front of him, pants around his thighs with this hand on his cock, stripping it up and down with a look of severe concentration on his face.

“What are you doing?” Sam asks, and when the words come out slurred Sam realises his lips are cut to hell, too.

“Hold still,” Dean says, moving a little closer. Sam pushes his chair back, just a little.

“Sam,” Dean growls, reaches his free hand out to hold Sam's chair where it is. “Seriously. Hold still.”

And okay.

Sam is stuck with his face in Dean's impressively hard cock and that's not something that he typically turns away from, so it's not his fault he's kind of stuck, transfixed for the dozen or so strokes it takes Dean to empty himself all over Sam's face.

“The _fuck_?” Sam asks again, ducking his head to wipe away the mess Dean made.

When he looks up again, he has to say he does feel a little better. His nose doesn't hurt, his lips don't hurt and Dean is beaming at him.

“See?” Dean says and Sam scrambles up to the bathroom, to check in the mirror.

He looks... fine. He looks _great_. The bags under his eyes are gone and so are those pimples along his chin line. Fuck.

Holy mother of all Hell, Dean was right. Dean has successfully cursed himself with a magical healing cock.

***

So, Sam kind of uses it like night cream.

He doesn't tell Dean that, because he's not a masochist but he tends to lull Dean to sleep with a blowjob and okay, he might get a little sloppy and get some of it on his face and when he goes the bathroom after he might smear it all around.

Whatever.

It's free. And he looks fucking fantastic.

***

The first time he _really_ cashes in on it is after a fight with a werewolf and Sam's damn near bleeding out until Dean drags him back the motel room. Until Dean holds him down and strips them both and whispers “Damnit, Sam, damnit, hold on. Just hold on, Sammy...” and comes all over him.

It's less of a joke, after that.

***

Sam gets thrown into a wall by a vengeful spirit and Dean jerks off all over his left side.

Sam feels better, would have even if Dean hadn't returned the favour.

***

Sam takes a knife to the back rescuing a guy from some demons and Dean presses kisses all along his spine as he takes care of it.

Sam falls asleep with Dean curled around him.

***

Sam takes a fang to the chest when they clear out a nest of vamps and he sits very still, doesn't squirm at all and he gets harder than fucking nails when Dean comes on his chest, messages it into the cut. 

Dean smiles at him and jerks him off, after.

***

Sam gets laryngitis.

Dean laughs his ass off.

“You know what I gotta do, Sammy.”

“It fucking hurts, Dean,” Sam complains. “You can't put it in there.”

“I remember the first time you said that to me,” Dean says, eyes and smile turning soft. He leans in close and he kisses Sam on the mouth. “Turned out good, didn't it?”

Sam rolls his eyes, but yeah, Dean's right. It did turn out good.

“Okay, but... Gentle.”

“Naturally.”

***

Sam throws out his elbow chasing down a dirty cop and Dean jerks off all over him in the back of the Impala.

“I was fine, man,” Sam tells him, frowning. “I'll let you know when I need it, okay?”

Dean shrugs and races out the door, tackling their bad guy.

***

Sam comes down with a cough.

He doesn't learn until the next day, when he's feeling better than he ever has in the morning, that Dean had jizzed in his cough syrup.

***

Sam's ass hurts. It might or might not be because he didn't trim his fingernails before sticking them up in there but Dean doesn't ask questions, just spreads him open and applies the salve where he needs to. Sam fights him through it – of course he does but it's only for show.

In truth it feels amazing.

***

“Sam,” Dean warns, hand on Sam's shoulder as he wrenches it around to see better. “You need to hold still.”

He starts to take himself out and Sam's eyes go wide, he stands and pushes Dean back.

“Sam!” Dean hisses. “Sit down! I'm trying to help you!”

“Dude, it's a fucking paper cut!”

“And it could get infected.”

“And we're in the library!”

***

Sam cuts himself shaving.

Dean holds him down and spews all over his face.

Sam kind of likes it.

***

Sam kind of likes it when he has a toothache and sucks Dean off. He likes it when he's got a toe cramp and Dean fucks it out of him. He likes it when someone ties him up and Dean has to work extra hard on the rope burns.

Dean's cock heals like magic and Sam fucking loves it.

He can work with this.


End file.
